If you are now about to begin working on recovering from the effects of trauma, or if you have already begun this work and are planning to continue making some changes based on what you have learned, you will need courage and persistence along the way. You may experience setbacks. From time to time you may get so discouraged that you feel like you want to give up. This happens to everyone. You may ask the question can something good come out of adversity? Often in the face of adversity, we are unable to see anything through our pain. The only thing we can think about are questions. Why is this happening to me? How will I go on? How will I survive?
Notice how far you've come. Appreciate even a little progress. Do something nice for yourself and continue your efforts. You deserve an enjoyable life.
Always keep in mind that there are many people, even famous people, who have had traumatic things happen to them. They have worked to relieve the symptoms of this trauma and have gone on to lead happy and rewarding lives. You can too.
There are some that feel “Although we may want to, we should not turn away from our pain. It is felt by some that "breaking barriers is the way we feel all of our feelings during these times of adversity and heartache". It has also contended by some that "denying our pain, or denying our feelings, will not benefit us in any way". "In fact, it will likely prolong our troubles. But if we look at our situation, and face our problems head-on…we will triumph.”
has validated “repression” as a coping mechanism which may be necessary to survive the moment of trauma because accurate recall would be induce more pain then we could endure.
Weinberger developed the concept of a “Repressive Coping Style”, which he operazionalized as a specific combination of anxiety and defensiveness. Postulating four combinations of responses to threat; Weinberger defined repressors as individuals who express low anxiety and high defensiveness.
Forcing yourself to “feel a certain way” or to recall traumatic events because it is believed that you must “feel your feelings” may do more damage than good. Understand that timing is everything and to be able to gain prospective without re-traumatizing yourself is the kindest thing to do for you. This is why it is a process, a Journey of healing, of increased optimism and “Resolution”.
Remember, always be kind to yourself. As stated by Louise Hay
” you are in exactly the place that you should be” if it were not so you would be in a different place.